Hope whispers, and I will follow

The Sparklegrump Bestiary

Sat, 02 Feb 2019 02:56:41 GMT

You butts are fortunate I have the sense not to fill the house with purple talking penguins or whatever the shit whenever the task board gives me something stupid.

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Empatheias Visualosities

Sun, 17 Dec 2017 22:35:20 GMT

"And the night smells like snow. Walking home for a moment you almost believe you could start again.
And an intense love rushes to your heart, and hope.
It's unendurable, unendurable."
~Franz Wright

"...throw roses into the Abyss and say:
'Here is my thanks to the monster
Who didn't succeed in swallowing me alive.'"
~Friedrich Nietzche

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Holiday Presents: 2017

Sat, 02 Dec 2017 01:13:29 GMT

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Empatheias: And you lift me up in a wave of love

Tue, 28 Nov 2017 05:15:23 GMT

The past couple of weeks have been a little rough. The risk of another Arehtei running amok -- the one that almost led Kevin to murder his lover once, at that -- and the Otherworlders split apart again to deal with it. Another of Kevin's friends has gone home, and left him a letter to boot, as if he'd known what was coming. Shiro was missing in action for a little while. It's certainly not the worst things have ever been, but in a place like Empatheias, you never know just what sort of blow is going to drop next, and when things start piling up it's worrisome.

He's handled it all fairly well, as Kevins go. Still, seeing to it that Keith had a wonderful birthday today has made a noticeable difference, especially when you know the swordsman as well as Bulat does. His colors are just a little brighter. The line of his shoulders is just a little less tense. And that was even before he got into the floaty wine. He only had a little of it, since those bottles are really for Shiro and Kevin's still got one or two at home. But it was enough that his overall contentment has him floating a generous several inches off the ground, and he's been amusing himself by putting his dunamis lights beneath his own feet for most of the walk home.

"Ooh, tell me, do you know what that's worth?
Ooh, heaven is a place on earth.
They say in heaven, love comes first.
We'll make heaven a place on earth.
Ooh, heaven is a place on earth..."

The swordsman dances terribly around as he sings, moving over the street in a waltz he can't be bothered to coordinate properly. He's only doing it because the glowing "footprints" he leaves in his wake show up as swirls over the cobblestones this way, his lights drifting slowly up into the air as he moves on. He's playing, is what he's doing, charming himself with his own magic tricks at the end of a fun day. And to think, he once felt he needed permission from Peromei herself to practice with his lights at all.

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Log List

Mon, 13 Feb 2017 11:24:48 GMT

Meanwhile, in Empatheias
Thanks, Ryoko!

Meme
Wadanohara on the came back wrong meme
Sanae on the body heat meme
Hans on the TFLN meme
Hans on the marriage meme
Hans on the TFLN meme
Elsa on the TFLN meme
Hans on the New Years Kiss meme
Keith on the sick meme
Keith on the Train to the Afterlife meme

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Empatheias: CR Chart

Thu, 02 Jun 2016 18:03:54 GMT

Castmates

Oz Vessalius

{Pandora Hearts}
tenyearslost | Sparklebrat

Oz was the first person from Kevin's own world to arrive in Empatheias, and he pretty much turned everything Kevin had been building for himself on its head. For one thing, Kevin couldn't quite see him properly, his Child of Misfortune eye able to catch the way Oz exists as an anomaly in time and space. For another -- most importantly -- Oz was from Kevin's future, the far future, knowing him under a different name and appearance entirely.

Because of this, Oz was able to fill Kevin in on all the awful ways in which he went down in history, and launch him into the same bleak despair Kevin would experience if he'd fallen into Rainsworth like he was supposed to. But Oz stayed with him through that time, watching over the house in Kevin's absence, contributing by bringing food and looking after this and that. As Kevin began to pull out of the initial breakdown, Oz entertained him by telling him about the people he'll meet in the future, showing him glimpses of the life he'll one day build for himself. And if he can do it at home, he can do it in Verens, right? Even if he can't work towards the Will's wish here, that doesn't mean he should just lay down and die, right...?

Overall, their relationship was very, very mixed, with several hurdles to get past. On the one hand, Oz never wavered in his support of Kevin, and was determined to set him on a path towards proper healing. It was a terribly humbling thing, the day Kevin realized that Oz had left his future self behind to die, arrived in Empatheias to find the younger one mere hours later, and stepped up to help Kevin through his own pain without batting an eyelash. On the other, Kevin often found it difficult to trust Oz completely, given just how often he discovered that Oz had been keeping information from him because he "didn't want to upset him". He was also so good at keeping his own weak spots closed off that Kevin often wasn't really sure what to do with him. Genuine affection was tempered with resentment, and a feel of being slighted just as much as he was supported. When Kevin chose to accept him, he was making an active decision.

Even so, it was a blow when Oz vanished, and during the time he was away Kevin left his old bedroom just as it was, waiting for him to return. After all, if it hadn't been for Oz, Kevin never would have found any closure over what happened with the Sinclairs. Much like Xerxes Break "before" him, Oz was necessary to allow his life to move forward. By the time Oz showed up again, Kevin had had some time to sit on things and come to terms with much of what had upset him before...which made it a little easier when Oz vanished the second time. He's missed even more than the first time, but at least now, the air is clear.

Gilbert Nightray

{Pandora Hearts}
retraced | Seaweed-Head

It was a long, long time before Kevin and Gilbert began to understand one another well enough that you could call it "getting along". There was so much backstory to their relationship that Kevin just didn't understand. To Gilbert, Kevin was a pale shade of the man who picked him up out of his grief and set him on the path to working for Pandora and retrieving Oz from the Abyss. The man who helped to mold him into the fighter he is today, bullied him relentlessly for over a decade, and refused to trust him once he was grown. That man was infuriating. He was beloved. Gilbert hates him for being such a fucking jackass. Gilbert once stood up in his defense and declared, "I'm this idiot's left eye!"

Except Kevin hadn't ever actually done any of that, and at first, Gilbert seemed to swing between taking care of Kevin for Break's sake, and viewing Kevin as a new friend in his own right. Kevin resented this, insisting that he was his own person without ever completely understanding what Xerxes Break meant. For all that they both attempted to cross the distance between them, for several months they mostly succeeded in screaming at one another from opposite sides, rather than building any real bridges.

And yet, they stayed together, and eventually, one by one, things clicked into place. Gilbert grew to acknowledge Kevin as he was. Kevin learned more about Xerxes Break. Supporting one another became a true and proper habit, and finally, the second summer that Gilbert spent in Empatheias, Kevin said the f-word to him and the Friendship™ became properly acknowledged. There's still a great deal of bickering and teasing. With these personalities, that will always be the case. But they're able to live as equals now, both of them content with their positions in the other's life. Well, mostly. Kevin has angst.

Oswald Baskerville

{Pandora Hearts}
redstainedking | The Not Duke

Oswald Baskerville went down in history as a mad tyrant who murdered an entire city. History, it turns out, is wrong. The former Duke Glen Baskerville was actually a calm, stoic airhead, a guy who couldn't make tea for shit and who would rather play with his piano all day than go out and interact with other human beings, and he also had a habit of impromptu naps in the park. Songbirds would land on his head and he thought Elios's tiny form was adorable and Kevin will never forget seeing this stoic, dignified-if-you-don't-count-the-songbirds not-duke poke his head into the door to announce that his sister had brought soup, when Kevin had a cold.

Oswald also, it turned out, occasionally did things like punch landsharks in the face, break his hand doing so, and walk it off.

So, yeah, Kevin thinks Oswald here is pretty damn cool. He was never anything but helpful and supportive to Kevin during his time in Empatheias, and Kevin always appreciated that he's so calm and quiet, and admired him for his badassery. He mourned quietly when Oswald vanished and celebrated when he returned -- it was the first time he'd known a soul who was dead to vanish from Empatheias and make it back, and it did wonders towards easing his fear that someday he'll lose Bulat the same way. The second time Oswald vanished, though, he just felt even more bitter, and given how many people keep showing up again with no memories of Empatheias at all, he almost hopes he won't make it back a third time.

Also, no one has told Kevin that it was Oswald who dealt the final blow against Xerxes Break. That might be an issue later.

Jack Vessalius

{Pandora Hearts}
dramatist | The Elder Brat

Jack's time in Empatheias was brief, but significant. For starters, the day he arrived was the first time Kevin ever saw Oz really, truly frightened by anything. That in itself was enough to alarm him, and forced him to trust Oz enough to pick a side. It also forced Oz to reveal that he is a Chain, to say nothing of the other secrets behind the mess Kevin's world has turned into.

That said, Kevin never did get to know Jack very well. Instantly labeling the man a threat meant that he didn't want to, and the blank personality hiding behind Jack's charming exterior didn't do much to help, either. Still, it was established from the start that so long as Lacie was around, Jack had no reason to misbehave. That proved to be true. Really, Jack was probably one of the least dangerous people who could have come from home, so long as that safeguard was in place. Even so, Kevin breathed a sigh of relief when Jack vanished, and has barely spared him a thought since.

Lacie Baskerville

{Pandora Hearts}
gather_ye_rosebuds | Devil Woman

-- and then there's this asshole.

Kevin balked away from Lacie pretty much instantly, because oh, her daughter looks just like her. The pale daughter, mind, the one with the white hair and violet eyes and that same slasher smile. That daughter blew up his Chain and danced in the blood rain and plucked his eyeball right out of his head and he'd be a happier man if he'd never had the slightest hint that she existed, and Kevin saw that girl every single time he looked at Lacie and oh, it pissed him off. It pissed him off so badly.

...at least at first.

Despite himself, over the course of knowing Lacie, Kevin began to understand things. He came to realize just how terrible Lacie's life really was, the unfairness of her fate and the anger she carried at the injustice of it, not all that dissimilar to his own. He learned to look at her and see a mother with no daughters. He realized the Will was a twin without a sister, a girl denied the chance to be a girl. Everyone involved in that mess was a human being, and none of them were really permitted to live. And just as Kevin's compassionate streak was starting to break down his walls, Lacie vanished, back into the nothing from whence she came.

His tribute to her was to watch out for Oswald on her behalf, because that's the way Kevin handles loss nowadays. Then her brother joined her, and Kevin never did get over it, really. The fact that he's come to Emp and hasn't gone home, but the people who really, really deserve a second chance at life keep getting rejected, is something that bothers Kevin so deeply he doesn't often talk about it. Plus, it's entirely possible that he could have come to like her, given more time. He just never got the chance, and the more chances Kevin misses, the more it hurts.

Lily Baskerville

{Pandora Hearts}
littlestbaskerville | That Child

Lily's arrival was a terrible catalyst for several conversations that needed to happen -- the day she appeared in Verens, she took one look at Kevin and sicced the Bandersnatch on him, mauling his leg right there in a public park and addressing him as "Hatter" all the while. Kevin had just enough presence of mind to catch on that she was a Baskerville and summon Oswald to call her off. Princess Celestia happened by just in time to tend to his wounds and Oswald ordered Lily not to attack Kevin again, Kevin was ultimately able to make a truce with her in person, and life moved on.

Ah, but the aftermath was wretched. In one fell swoop, Kevin learned that Xerxes Break had very serious enemies, Xerxes Break had a Chain, that Chain was going to be what ultimately killed him, and Oz and Gilbert had been keeping lots, and lots of secrets. The ensuing fight led Kevin to ragequit and flounce off to stay with Bulat for the better part of a month, helping Bulat set up his new flat until he felt better about his own housemates. It all fizzled out eventually, but the tension remained, and Kevin is still appalled at the notion that a little girl could become so ruthlessly violent before anyone was able to teach her otherwise. It took many months of skirting around one another before Kevin became able to see that Lily still is a little girl, and the fact that she isn't a normal one is yet another cruelty that his world has produced so carelessly.

Over time, Kevin was able to not only forgive her, but to reach out. After Oswald vanished, he saw to it that she was at least fed, though Lily was just as wary of him as he was of her. That strange truce finally broke the night of Aiada's earthquake, when Oswald's old apartment was destroyed and she threw herself at Kevin for comfort. That night, he finally got her to come stay in the extra room at his house. Although he never did become as close to her as he is with Hibiki, Lily served as a catalyst then, too -- her presence in the house meant that they were pretty much out of space to take anyone else in, and he'd promised her that if Oswald ever returned, he could stay in the house with them too. He reacted to this by purchasing the house next door and building a hallway in between the two. Lily has vanished since, but the size and lively atmosphere in the house can, arguably, be traced back partially to her.

Vincent Nightray

{Pandora Hearts}
untraces | Drain Rat

Vincent Nightray serves as Kevin's personal scale for just how much he hates a person. So far, no one has really surpassed him.

Strike One: The very first time Kevin ever saw Vincent, he was a little child in the Abyss, screaming his head off at the Will. He made her cry by yelling at her that someone beloved was dead and it was all her fault, and in the ensuing breakdown of the world itself, he cried out that if everything became weird, he, at last, could be normal. Strike Two: Oswald likes to run his mouth, and saw no problems with telling Kevin about that one time when Vincent decided he ought to kill the Will's cat and present her with the corpse, in a cold and calculated attempt to hurt her. Strike Three: When Vincent showed up in Empatheias, Gilbert did everything he could to keep Vincent from finding out that Kevin was there at all. Once he did, he cheerfully kidnapped a slum girl and used her as leverage to draw Kevin out for a chat, and proceeded to blackmail him into silence by threatening to reveal Kevin's past as a serial killer.

Kevin has never hated anyone so instantly in all his life. Done. Vincent's out.

If Vincent had arrived earlier, his threats might have worked. As it was, Vincent believed he was dealing with Xerxes Break, and he was not. Break refused to turn to anyone for help during crisis situations, even if it meant risking his own death. Kevin has already had that habit beaten out of him. The first thing he did was report to his boss and confess, and one by one, he's let all of his closest companions in on the secret. To his immense surprise, every last one of them stayed by his side, and those relationships are arguably stronger now for the honesty in them. So ha ha, Vincent. Ha ha.

The Drain Rat's gone now, and Kevin can't pretend his words don't still have an effect on him. But he can take responsibility for his own actions, and refuse to allow anyone else to use them to control him. He spent the time after Vincent's departure hoping he'd never have to see him ever again, but convinced that if he did return, Kevin would be ready for him.

Vincent Baskerville

{Pandora Hearts}
weencent | Little Vincent

...and then Vincent came back as a child, and Kevin was not prepared for that at all.

His first reaction was to panic. There was no way Kevin could turn him away, no way at all -- Vincent is still a child, still capable of learning and changing and growing, and the right thing to do was to give him that chance to exist in a supportive environment. One more supportive than the Baskerville environment that produced Lily, too. But at the same time, Kevin knows for a fact that Vincent was vicious and capable of extreme violence even at this age, and there's the safety of the rest of the house to think of. What if he resented anyone else who spent too much time with Gilbert? What if he hated Hibiki? What if he tried to hurt any of the pets?

Then, too, Kevin simply had a knee-jerk reaction to Vincent's general existence to deal with. It was completely unfair, to react so viscerally to Vincent because of the things his future self has done when he has resented Xerxes Break so much for causing him the same trouble. But it wasn't something he could help. He needed time, and so at first, Vincent was foisted off completely on Gilbert.

Things have been improving since, albeit very slowly. Given time, Kevin is sure he'll be able to get along with Vincent properly, and perhaps even to bond with the boy. He wants to give him the chance not to become such a mess in this place. He feels very strongly about it. But although Kevin was ultimately able to bond a little with Lily, Vincent's core personality is very different, and Lily was never as cunning as Vincent already is. It's something that bothers Kevin very much, but with all the upheaval within the house and Kevin's own social circle since Vincent arrived, he still hasn't figured out the best ways to reach out.

Reim Lunettes

{Pandora Hearts}
allweather | Mister Reim

Awkward.

Along with the others at Rainsworth, Reim has been one of the people Kevin wanted to meet the most. For all that Kevin's wanted to be seen as only himself, he's also longed to know more about his future as Break -- particularly his new family, which no one but a Rainsworth will ever really be able to tell him about. Reim's actual arrival did not go as planned, however, and the drama that ensued drove some important concepts home for Kevin.

For one thing, he'd spent months throwing tantrums about his individuality at people who had been seeing a beloved dead friend in him all that time and that must be as painful for them as it was for him, something Kevin knew but never really appreciated fully until the third person who actually liked him showed up. For another, he'd been insisting Break's future isn't his as long as he's in Empatheias, and yet clinging to that future as his inevitability. If he's going to live his own life and really live it, he can't stay attached to that future any more than he can cling to his past.

This second point was driven home again and again over the next several months, as Kevin found that he had virtually nothing in common with the man who was "destined" to be his best friend. In the end, he wound up growing closer to Zelos Wilder, despite spending literal months squabbling with him on Reim's account.

These were crucial lessons, contributing to the shitfit that resulted in the purple makeover, in the hopes of differentiating himself from Break more obviously and upsetting everyone less. But even though all he can say about Reim now that he's gone is "we got along well enough", Reim will always stand out as the one person from his future who looked at Kevin and didn't immediately see Xerxes Break, and his presence brought about several changes that needed to happen. If nothing else, Kevin will always be respectfully grateful to him for those reasons.

Black Alice

{Pandora Hearts}
velvet_teen | Stupid Rabbit

Great googly-moogly, was this girl a fucking trip and a half. She is going to stand out forever in Kevin's mental hall of fame for the sole reason that he tried to troll her five seconds into knowing her only to have it backfire miserably on him five seconds after that, on account of he was not anticipating that Alice would be that dumb.

He proceeded to take her home and lock her in the pantry until Oz came home, washing his hands of her completely. Because of that, and the fact that Alice was only around for a month, Kevin never was really able to become close to her. Given his feelings for Lacie, the swordsman feels like he probably ought to regret that more than he does, but -- well, Alice had her own priorities that kept her plenty occupied, and he's certainly not going to begrudge her that. And it was nice, seeing Oz and Alice and Gilbert together again at last, as it should be. His only regret is that she didn't stay longer, but privately, he takes some comfort in the fact that Oz vanished with her when she left. In a way, it's almost like she came to pick him up, on the way to somewhere else...nah. As Kevin understands it, the timeline was all wrong for that. Still.

...on the plus side, it took her quite some time to recognize him as the Once and Future Break, and Kevin has chosen to believe that this is because of his purple streaks and not because Alice can't be assed to give a damn about anything unless Oz or food is involved. Look. Let him have this.

Here and Now

Bulat

{Akame ga Kill}
steel_over_blood | Mister Knight in Shining Amor

One day, in the dead of winter, Bulat climbed up out of the canal literally steaming with anger and promptly punched himself right in a wound to ensure that he wasn't dreaming. Kevin, perched nearby, watched this, and decided Bulat would make an excellent way to heat up his lunch. So, he called him over and did it.

Over the next few years these dubious first impressions would morph quickly into a deep friendship and, much less quickly, a fierce, relentless, passionate love. Kevin admires the way Bulat is so cheerful and easy-going, the way he doesn't let his secrets and his past drag him down, the way he takes comfort in such simple things. Bulat's shameless ridiculousness gave Kevin a safe space to really blossom into his own, and their general levels of paranoia compliment one another well. For Bulat's part, Kevin's refusal to stop moving forward, encouraged by Bulat himself, keeps him forever looking to surpass his own limits, and Kevin's capacity for cunning and guile keeps Bulat on his toes. Being together is a secure and comfortable thing, and whenever circumstances stop that from being true, both are willing to work actively to restore it.

Bulat is fun to talk to when Kevin's in a good mood and an excellent listener when Kevin is sad or angry instead. He's bothered to uncover just what makes Kevin tick and why and does not hesitate to work with what he's got, and he's been known to bring Kevin gifts he scrounged up with his exact personality quirks in mind, something Kevin can't help but be touched by. He's strong enough that he doesn't make Kevin feel like a burden when he opens up, and the trust between them is something that Kevin counts among his greatest treasures. Being with him is easy, and they have so much fun together that loving him is, too. Bulat is, without a doubt, Kevin's most precious person in all the worlds.

Also he's terrified of commitment and mentioning marriage to him causes his hair to turn white and that just never stops being funny.

Edea Lee

{Bravely Default}
edealistical | Boss 2

Edea developed a habit early on of hunting Kevin down and making him talk to her. If she'd tried this before Sanae had bullied some of his feelings loose, it never would have worked. As it is, Edea's actions set the tone for their relationship in a professional as well as a companionable sense -- Edea gives enough of a damn about what Kevin thinks that she will follow him around to get his opinions, and to a man who was taught that his job was to be seen and not heard, that means a great deal.

Much of their initial interactions came from their positions in the Enforcers. Edea was Kevin's favorite boss -- he trusted her to understand his skills and to know what to do with him, and despite her young age, he was confident in her ability to make decisions that would benefit the group as a whole. It was always obvious that she cared deeply about all of her underlings and considered her role in the group to be a duty, not a privilege, which is something that Kevin respects immensely. He's at his best when he's got a such a boss bossing him about, and her presence gave Kevin a sense of security that he desperately needed. The loyalty she inspired in him was a reflection of Xerxes Break's position within the Rainsworth house. For Sheryl Rainsworth and the good of her family, Break was willing to set his own wishes aside, and it's said that he only disobeyed her orders once during the 15 years he was with her.

Things changed after Edea went home for a week -- multiple years in her own world -- and came back older, more mature, and interested in pursuing other means of employment and growth. She left her position as co-commander, the Otherworlders were incorporated into the rest of the Enforcers, and though everything has moved along steadily since then, Kevin is still salty that he no longer gets to see his One True Boss every day and makes up for it by being a brat all over headquarters. Even so, underneath their working relationship, they have always been friends, and that holds true. Edea's willingness to seek him out for his opinions is a large part of what made him comfortable enough to speak up about other things, too. She was also the first person he deliberately confessed his past to, and it was her reaction that made him brave enough to seek out his other allies to do the same. Between those things and their shared love of shenanigans and gossip and sweets, she's become Kevin's little sister in his head, someone he protects as much as follows -- and, having seen the extreme difference in her maturity since she came back, Kevin is proud of the person she's becoming.

Ringabel

{Bravely Default}
ringabeau | Mister Ringabel

Kevin's first reaction to Ringabel was extreme amusement that he existed in the first place -- he was already close to Edea by the time they met, and so the notion of boss having a love interest was hilaaaaaaaaaaaarious. He did his duty and got to know Ringabel enough to decide he approved of the relationship, and then he kept getting to know Ringabel, because they got on better and better over time.

His initial mirth over Ringabel's feelings for Edea and his overall personality as a smaller, blonder Bulat shifted to a sense of connection as Ringabel discussed his past as Alternis, and then to respect as Kevin came to understand the extent of Ringabel's skills and loyalties. In a way, Kevin sees him as something of a little brother -- he's heard plenty about the life Alternis was forced to lead, and how he was given an asterisk so grisly as the Dark Knight at such an early age, and the urge to protect him retroactively is strong even if Kevin understands why giving him such a thing was necessary. But at the same time, Ringabel is far wiser than he often portrays himself, and Kevin continuously finds himself with the rug ripped out from beneath him during their serious conversations as Ringabel flings out points that suddenly make everything make sense. Because of that, he's become one of Kevin's favorite people to go to for advice, even if it took him some time to stop being surprised.

They are sparkly shopping buddies who enable one another's fabulousness, for sure. They are also drinking buddies, talking of deep and important things long into the night, and though Edea was the one who offered Kevin the use of the asterisk, Ringabel was the one who actually got one into his hands and helped him to start training with it. At the end of the day, underneath it all, these boys are knights together, and if they really are brothers, they're brothers in arms.

Hibiki

{Hibiki's Magic}
tea_rs | The Not-Daughter

Kevin met Hibiki once or twice, and didn't think much, really. She's a cute little girl. She makes fantastic tea, and he enjoyed her company as much as he enjoys any kid's. But for the most part, she was just another person he saw around Verens from time to time. Perhaps he made a habit of looking out for her just because she's a child, but other than that, there was no reason to get too close.

Then Pride, the homonculus, kidnapped, tortured, and murdered a bunch of people in an attempt to open some sort of gate and get home. Hibiki was one of the victims, and Kevin was one of the Enforcers who showed up in the aftermath.

Hibiki had been living alone, and when she came out of her ordeal dazed and traumatized, a furious Kevin adopted her into his house on the spot. The following weeks were difficult, to the extent that even Kevin understood that he was projecting on the girl -- his guilt and sorrow over the Sinclair girl he failed so terribly drove his need to care for Hibiki, and he became so preoccupied with his inability to magically fix everything that Edea had to smack him out of it. Over time, however, Edea's assurance that the best thing he could do for Hibiki was to be there proved true, and in the months that came after, he watched the girl unfold in a way that he himself was never capable of. Where Kevin had spent months trying to hide from everyone, Hibiki wanted to go back out into the world again. Where Kevin was still licking old wounds even then, Hibiki was able to overcome Pride's betrayal, and still talk openly about how badly she wanted to make friends.

The sad, scared, lonely little girl wanted so much to wake up that she never really stopped trying, and watching her has left Kevin humbled, full of respect for ability to grow.

Now, Kevin worries that Hibiki will find a reason to leave someday, because although he's too dense to realize he's starting to think of Hibiki as his child, he's well aware that he's become terribly attached. Hibiki will never replace the Sinclair girl, just as Sharon never replaced her for Break. Even so, Kevin genuinely enjoys Hibiki's company, and her presence in his life has brought out a part of him he had no idea was there, and he feels much more whole for having her at his side. Break was able to admit to Sheryl that he thought of Sharon as his own daughter, and so it's likely that Kevin will figure it out someday too. For now, though, that day is a long time coming, and he's doing his best to enjoy the present. His dream of a full house and a new family isn't something he often admits to openly, but he knows he'd like Hibiki to be a part of it.

Shiro

{Here's A Lion}
lionhandler | Mis-ter SHIIIIIIIII-rooooooo

So an introvert and an extrovert walk into a bar --

In a lot of ways, these two arguably make one another crazy. Kevin is the cat to Shiro's dog, the agent of chaos to Shiro's tendency for routine, the guy who hides things while Shiro really just wants to be open. Many of the problems in their friendship amount to stupid misunderstandings. Among other things, they somehow managed to go almost an entire year without sitting down to have a discussion about the fact that Kevin hates talking about his problems and Shiro just wants to be understood, and Kevin's intense hypocrisy -- making it a point to take care of Shiro when he doesn't even realize he was being taken care of, only to snub it when Shiro attempts the same -- absolutely made things worse. Despite all that, they managed to build a strong and relatively easy-going bond, providing Shiro with someone who actually understood the symptoms of trauma he struggles with and can stand as a source of stability and ultimately giving Kevin a fun new family at a time when he was losing important people left and right.

With any other friendship at this level, Kevin would have taken that friend aside to confess his past, and ensure that it couldn't be uncovered by accident. With Shiro, Kevin found himself too afraid, well-aware that he'd probably lose him over it and unwilling to risk it with all his other precious people vanishing one by one. An Elios event brought it out anyway, and Kevin's worst fears were confirmed -- Shiro left him.

Then, after a time, he came back.

It's not completely accurate to say they started over. Rather, the exposure of Kevin's nastiest secrets brought everything else to the surface at last -- Kevin's full past, Shiro's feeling that he couldn't actually confide in Kevin as much as he wished to, the vast differences in the way the both of them coped. And underneath all of those things, that bond they'd formed by supporting one another for so long was still there, and something the both of them still wanted very much. Kevin was arguably right to be afraid of having this conversation, given that he did lose Shiro, at first. Now, though, they can move forward with a better understanding of just what it is they're building between them, with several different barriers removed at last.

Even if Kevin still sort of wishes Shiro would leave him alone in favor of rescuing kittens or something sometimes, geez.

Keith

{There's A Lion}
redpaladin | THIS IS MY APPRENTICE LOOK AT HIM

One day, a month or three into their acquaintance, Shiro showed up at Kevin's with two of his freshly arrived paladins in tow. The socially awkward red one with the temper problem is a swordy guy, he said. What could Kevin do about teaching him to sword better?

It took all of an afternoon for Kevin to see glimpses of himself as he once was in Keith -- quiet, withdrawn, prone to lurking and terrible at small talk, but also determined and vicious and with a fighting style that was already very similar to Kevin's own. It wouldn't be a matter of teaching him to sword better so much as polishing him up. As they trained together over the next several months, Kevin never pushed him for details about himself, knowing Keith would respond well to being given that agency. Sure enough, Keith slowly opened up to him more and more of his own accord. And, as the two grew closer, the "teacher" part of the deal began to emerge in other ways as Kevin learned more about him as a person.

On the one hand, Kevin's belief that Keith was essentially a younger version of himself had a great deal of projection involved. On the other, he wasn't wrong. Kevin has only rarely set any proper emotional fires since his early days in Empatheias; for those first several months, even mild frustration caused fires around Keith. Kevin followed him over the rooftops one night and Keith drew his sword on him and lunged without realizing it was Kevin -- or asking questions first. Keith was far too impulsive and headstrong, and Kevin was relieved when he popped home for a week and came back having passed what Kevin interpreted as a trial of knighthood. He'd sorted his priorities and earned his blade, and in return, Kevin opened up too, telling Keith just enough of his own story to serve as a lesson against becoming too fixated on goals that shouldn't matter.

Everything blew up when the rest of the story came out, and Keith discovered that the man who'd been coaching his swordplay for months was, in fact, a legendary serial killer.

Keith reacted by running off to resume his desert hobo ways for a fortnight. Not just in an attempt to cope with Kevin's past, but because so many of the stories and warnings Kevin had been dropping had suddenly clicked into place, and the red flags Kevin had seen in him had become all too obvious to Keith himself as well. When he sorted himself out and returned to Kevin, the latter admitted to having placed a great deal of hope in Keith, with a wish for the boy to succeed where he failed and be the knight that Kevin should have been all along -- an especially potent wish, with Keith himself admitting that he understood Kevin's fears about him. Since that time, Kevin's past hasn't been forgiven, but it has been acknowledged, and Kevin himself found valuable all the same. Kevin's old sword has been passed down to Keith and the dynamic has shifted to something a little more equal, now that Kevin's been knocked so soundly off his pedestal. Still, even though Keith is well on the way to surpassing Kevin's skills someday, there is still plenty of teaching time to be had.

Kevin's been teaching Keith to sword. He also taught Keith to dance.

Pidge Gunderson

{And Another Little Lion}
ramblingly | Young Pidge
reverseengineer

Even if Kevin has always been closest to Shiro and Keith, he takes a good and proper interest in the rest of the paladins too -- referring to them as Shiro's "brood", generally -- and Pidge has never been an exception. They didn't quite know what to make of one another during their first meeting, and for some time, eyed one another askance from afar. Then, Kevin took it upon himself to use his dunamis to cover the ceilings at the Voltron house with stars, and Pidge jumped right in to help him plot out their layouts to be just like those from home, to say nothing of what they did to Shiro's room. Invisible paint that becomes visible only around certain emotions means that whenever Shiro is disturbed by his night terrors, he wakes up to a beautiful space mural, which of course they refrained from telling him about before the first time it happened. Later, when he came upon Pidge out and about with her insomnia, he helped her work some energy out by showing her how to run along the rooftops -- and, when she protested that she was the little scrappy one, they bonded over Kevin's insistence that it's the ones who fight smarter who will be the most successful in the end. He spent that night explaining the theory of movement to her in his strange Victorian way, how you've got to land at certain angles to really make this or that jump and how you can use your own body weight to your advantage.

Then she vanished, and returned without her memories. That first meeting after was terribly awkward, and she only lasted a month before she was gone again.

Kevin doesn't blame Pidge for this. It's not as though it's her fault. Still, this loss -- and the salt rubbed into the wound of said loss -- were especially potent given that they came at a time when Kevin's long-term very close friends were dropping away on him left and right. Much though he'd like to rekindle the bond they'd started to build, thinking of trying is exhausting, and it's more of a burden than he'd realized to carry memories of someone that they do not have. Since Pidge, Kevin is much more appreciative of the way Gilbert and Oz struggled so much to reconcile him with Xerxes Break.

Hunk Garrett

{Fuzzy Lion}
lionroll | Young Master Hunk

Would you just look at this precious cinnamon bun. What a genuinely nice boy. Anybody who does not like Hunk is Wrong™, even Kevin understands this. He is absolutely the sort of person that Kevin would say "he's really too good a guy" about, and that's about the highest praise from Kevin that you're ever going to get.

All of that said, Kevin isn't as close to Hunk yet as he's been to the other paladins. That's fine. It doesn't trouble him, and he enjoys Hunk's company (and cooking) very much when they cross paths. It's nice and it's fun, being around Hunk. More importantly -- at some point Kevin uncovered the paladin's dual interests in both cooking and engineering. Once that came out, Kevin was able to point him at Gilbert, who was opening up his own bakery while possessing only one arm. That they're working together gives Hunk the opportunity to explore both of his fields of interest, and it gives Gilbert someone who can not only help in the kitchen, but who can watch Gilbert work, pinpoint the places where he's struggling, and rig up a nifty new invention to compensate. It pleases Kevin very much that these two mutual people of his are able to help each other so nicely, on top of Hunk being just -- well, he's just a nice person to have around.

He will be watching like a hawk when it finally comes out that he and Keith are slowly growing Awfully Close. Yes. Good. Get married. If there is anybody good enough for Kevin's apprentice it is Hunk and Kevin wants to attend that wedding.

Lance McClain

{Funny Lion}
the_tailor | Young Master Lance

The Blue Paladin of Voltron and, Kevin thinks sometimes, possibly the most tender of the lot. One of the things that irritates Kevin the most about all these different worlds is how many of them show up at the ripe old age of fifteen-ish, already heroes with horrifying weapons and powers and bearing the weight of literal worlds on their shoulders. Lance reminds him very strongly of this, because while his teammates have all seemed to find ways to busy and involve themselves in the world around them, Lance really just seems like he wants to go home -- and when he finally is returned to his universe, "home" is not going to be where he winds up.

To that end, Lance has become the paladin that Kevin tries to entertain in an every-day sort of way, taking him to neat restaurants and spoiling him at the bathbomb store and pointing him towards families of his acquaintance who need a good babysitter. The simplest things make Lance super happy, and that kills Kevin just a little, so -- seeing to it that he gets some of those things is the least he can do. After all, Empatheias may not ever be home, but at least it isn't a space war.

Princess Allura

{Lion Lion ELF}
heartofalioness | Princess

If you're going to have a gaggle of knights you've got to have a princess around somewhere, so as far as Kevin is concerned Allura's presence is only right and proper. He enjoys her company, precisely because she is a princess -- she carries herself with a regal formality that Kevin understands very well, and lets him lead her around on his elbow and address her properly. Despite the fact that they come from completely different times in completely different universes, that familiarity in her is something that Kevin finds comforting.

Which is not to say that she doesn't also trigger his need to adopt everything. Even if he's long since stopped referring to himself by his title, Kevin is still a knight himself, and knights are protective of princesses. That's just how it is. While he at least has the sense not to be too forceful with Allura, since it isn't like she's his, Kevin does not hesitate to pipe up and outright order her to sit down and rest during the times when he catches her working herself too hard. Outside of that, he doesn't worry about her too much. As far as he can tell, she makes friends easily, and has plenty of support. However, he hasn't forgotten that her home and family are long gone, and the one person left from her past is a sparkly retainer Kevin shares certain similarities with. If the princess should need Kevin as more than an adopted uncle to her other knights, he'll be there.

Nagito Komaeda

{Dangabonga Roomba}
eyeswideopen | Mister Komaeda

If you were to ask Kevin how he met Komaeda, he honestly wouldn't be able to tell you. As far as he's concerned, the other has just sort of always been there, his fellow funny-looking Perobro. Their shared Arehtei alignment is something that they both take very seriously, and long before it occurred to Kevin that they were friends, the swordsman was immensely pleased by Komaeda's position as Peromei's representative. Kevin doesn't have to worry so much about Peromei knowing that someone like Komaeda is devoting so much of his time and efforts to her wellbeing.

That bond has deepened considerably over time -- Komaeda also keeps up a part-time job in a used bookstore, and Kevin is something of a book nerd. Once Kevin realized he was there, it became an easy and common thing to swing by on free afternoons and lunch breaks, both to browse the new reading material and to chat up his friend. It's a terribly easy thing for them to get lost in conversation, ranging across everything from the business of tending to Peromei to the philosophies behind luck and fate. Truthfully, being around Komaeda is such a natural thing that Kevin often forgets that, just like any of the Otherworlders, he could vanish at any moment. Empatheias will lose someone important if that ever happens.

Reaper

{Overwatch}
gr1m | Kevin doesn't call him "the Reapster" but he should

Reaper is some sort of tall horrifying vampire wraith kind of a thing who wears a skull mask, scoots about on his own shadows, has enormous claws, and possesses a deep and gravelly voice, with which he does not hesitate to talk about evil politics and life with his shadow-curse.

Also, he likes to knit. Kevin met him in a yarn store.

The perfect example of the way looks can be deceiving, Reaper is a pretty easy-going guy, gentle and delicate with his claws when it comes to it and he makes a mean macaroni and cheese. The two cross paths often, just because their territories overlap, and Kevin can often be seen trotting along at Reaper's side as they enjoy their sickening sugary Steambucks lattes. Kevin was openly weird long before Reaper arrived, so everyone has just accepted this, really. Weird attracts weird. More importantly, shadow attracts shadow, and what everyone doesn't know -- not unless one or the other speaks up about it -- is that it was Reaper and his talk of mastering the shadows forced upon him that inspired Kevin to finally tackle his own. The shadowy creatures that Kevin can shape with his dunamis now, unicorns and lions and all manner of nice things, are a direct result of Reaper's influence, something that tickles the grizzled old former commander immensely. Likewise, Kevin's presence once caused Reaper to unleash a torrent of butterflies, shaped out of moving bits of light. You never really know what sort of person you'll find something you need in, huh?

Mrs. Bradley

{Fullmetal Alchemist}
holdsodear | Miss Eleanor

Eleanor Bradley has been in a nasty situation from pretty much the moment she dropped into Empatheias. Long before she showed up her "husband" and "son" -- Wrath and Pride -- performed an alchemical experiment that resulted in the mauling and deaths of many, many people, both Otherworlder and local alike, and the scars their actions left behind have been terribly slow to heal. Eleanor was thrust right into the thick of the backlash, and has spent her life in this new world struggling with the responsibility she feels due to her connections to the two. Kevin met her without knowing any of this, and initially got to know her as a gentle, kind woman, the motherly sort he always feels inclined to be charming at. Because of that, finding out that she was the Mrs. Bradley was a massive blow.

Hibiki was one of Pride's victims, and she had become fond of Eleanor, too. They found out in the worst way possible -- by catching Pride and Eleanor out and about, terrifying Hibiki all over again.

If Kevin had been alone in all this, he may well have just cut off contact and been done with it. With Hibiki at hand, it wasn't so easy. So, Kevin sought Eleanor out and heard as much of her story and her reasoning as he could get, and reported back to Hibiki with his information. In this sort of situation, he said, you have to get as much information as possible, and think about it with your own brain and your own heart. And, once you have it, trust is a decision that you make for your own self. Hibiki decided to trust Eleanor, and Kevin decided to support her.

Since that time, things have evened out considerably. Wrath and Pride have both returned to their own world, and Kevin often pops by Eleanor's house to entertain her with tea and chatting. The longer the swordsman does this, however, the more obvious it becomes that he's been held at arm's length, in the hopes that he won't get too close to the deep, deep sadness that Eleanor carries. A part of him wants to respect her wishes, take note of her boundaries and grant the woman her space. But the more he thinks about it, the more it troubles him. Could he help her, if he did be a little more forceful about reaching out? Is it even his place to try?

Kylo Ren

{Star Wars}
lostapprentice | [CENSORED]

Ugh. What the hell are we even supposed to do with this guy, seriously.

Kevin really super hates Kylo Ren. In part this is because Kylo Ren's first impression was utter shit -- Kevin met him while he was in the middle of a temper tantrum, and he proceeded to murder Junko Enoshima just to see if she'd stay dead, despite being told she would not. Or something. Kevin's not actually clear on whether Kylo had any other motives, he just thinks the whole affair was dumb. Also Kylo's personality is crap. And he is much too tall. And he has one of those cool laser swords and he can move things with his mind, up to and including tossing Kevin in the lake from afar, and he's been on pretty decent behavior since suffering the consequences of his dumbass murder experiment and so Kevin can't actually find a good reason to toss him off the island, and -- yeah, okay, the other reason Kevin really super hates Kylo Ren is that he's jealous. Obnoxious people should not be permitted to be tall and do cool shit.

So naturally Hibiki has taken an immense shine to him. Hibiki, why must you do this.

It is because of Hibiki and only Hibiki that Kevin and Kylo have formed a bitchy alliance of sorts, with Kylo even appearing in Kevin's house from time to time and getting invited to dinner parties. Like, on purpose. Look, the man's inherent negativity keeps all the love and hope from doing disgusting things to the house. And outside of all that, Kylo likes to terrorize Kevin in as many tiny ways as he can, and Kevin does his damnedest not to let it affect him too much out of sheer spite. It's for Hibiki's sake, okay? A serial killer such as Kevin does not exactly have any ground to stand on in regards to keeping his little girl away from other well-behaved mass murderers, and if we're being completely truthful, there is some comfort in knowing that another horrible vicious swordsman is watching out for her while Kevin is distracted.

And if it turns out that Kylo makes for a great conversationalist at three in the morning, and one Kevin doesn't actually have to be afraid to say horrible things to because Kylo doesn't judge people's dark side stuff -- look, there's no need to make a fuss about that kind of thing, right? Right.

Gone but Not Forgotten

Sanae Kochiya

{Touhou Project}
miraculo | Miss Sanae

Sanae Kochiya was Kevin's Lady Shelly, and he's going to love her until the end of his days in this world.

Which is not to say everything was sunshine and rainbows with this girl. With Sanae, it was misunderstanding after misunderstanding from the moment they both arrived -- her need to be close to people against his need for peace and solitude, her desire to help him past his darkness versus his awareness that said darkness was absolutely deserved. They were on-again off-again friends for a long while, but it all came to a head when Kevin finally found out the full extent of his crimes at home, and their consequences.

She tried to comfort him then, but he couldn't bear to hear her say he was still a good person after finding out just what he'd accomplished with his Contract. So, he told her the truth.

At that point, Sanae rejected him completely for being little more than a fool who'd made a deal with a demon, and hurt people because of it. Kevin accepted it as exactly the proper reaction she should have had, and made no move to patch the distance between them. Things might have stayed like that if Elios hadn't appeared over a month later. At that time, fueled by her hatred for him, Sanae attacked him outright; fueled by his hatred for himself, Kevin stood there and took it. Hurting him so severely snapped her out of her event-induced rage and helped her to realize that his actions hadn't made him any less of a human being, and her subsequent apologies and healing prompted him to explain that he's trying now to be the good person that he "should have been in the first place" -- and that Sanae herself stood as part of his inspiration for doing so.

Sanae extended her support to him once more, and this time Kevin accepted it whole-heartedly. By that time, he had already begun to fall a little bit in love with her.

Kevin isn't the sort of person who needs someone at his side in order to love them. His friendship with Bulat was growing steadily as well and taking a decidedly flirtatious turn, something Kevin was also enjoying. Knowing he never had a chance with Sanae, for a while, he juggled his feelings for both, thinking there was no harm in it. Sanae and Bulat were both aware of one another, and thus considered him off limits for anything serious. This way, he believed, he could keep the both of them at his side, and enjoy the fun parts of falling for them without causing either of them any pain. It didn't work out like that, because unbeknownst to him, Sanae was falling in love, too -- and when she confessed to him, Kevin was so dismayed by it that he blurted out his own confession in turn. Angry that he could say such things to her when she was convinced he was properly with Bulat, she turned on him, and another fight ensued.

They made up eventually, as they always did. But the time apart gave him some time to think, and helped him come to the realization that a love between them was never going to work out even if things were good. Not when Sanae was such a sensitive person, in need of emotional support that Kevin is incapable of giving. Not when Kevin himself spent many of their interactions nervous and afraid, aware that the slightest careless misstep on his part would cause her pain. No, they would be much better as friends, and the relationship was restored when Sanae went home for a little while and came back reinvigorated.

Then, she went home permanently.

Kevin loves her still. Once he falls in love, he doesn't fall back out of it again, and he's more than capable of loving several people at once. More importantly, the influence that Sanae has had on his life isn't so small that it can just fall away. Just as Lady Shelly was still on Break's mind until the very end, Sanae will remain on Kevin's, and he'll live by some of the lessons she's taught him. And all the while, Empatheias being what it is, he'll never give up the hope that someday, Sanae will return, and Kevin will be ready to let her fulfill one of her most important promises:

"I want to see that person! The best person you can be! And...I want to be there to help that person come to be. When he comes to be. I want to welcome him with a hug."

Wadanohara

{Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea}
risorgimento | Tiny Red Witch

There's something sort of annoyingly appropriate about plopping out of the nightmare of the Abyss and promptly being discovered by a little red witch girl who wears a hat with an eyeball on it. When Kevin appeared in the ruins, freshly missing an eye and on his way to dead, it was Wadanohara who found and cared for him, healing his injuries and dragging him off to a safe place to rest. Later, she would conjure up a sword for him, when he mentioned in passing that he required a weapon.

Kevin was not happy with either of these occurrences. It was all too creepy by far. Because he's tried so hard not to confront it, he doesn't even really realize just how deeply her interference has affected his life -- if he'd been left to heal the usual way, he'd have been obliged to dwell on his own weakness even more than he already does, and it would have taken him much, much longer to find his feet. Regardless, like it or not, he's in Wadanohara's debt now, and he carried that sword until it broke to remind himself of that. He hasn't seen her in a long time and so he assumes she went home, but he's always watching out for her, just in case she reappears and gives him the opportunity to pay her back. It feels wrong, to owe someone who isn't even there.

Prince Hans of the Southern Isles

{Frozen}
ingoodhans | Your Highness

In their very first interaction, Hans announced that there was no need to address him as "your highness". Kevin ignored this and calls him that anyway, because if being a prince wasn't important he never would have said he was one in the first place. Unbeknownst to him, this pretty much set the tone for the rest of their relationship.

He wasn't really sure what to make of Hans, truth be told. He was a really nice guy. Really nice. Obviously very well-meaning. He was also clever enough to spot Kevin skulking through the dark and call him on it, and managed to get the swordsman to attend Mickey's Halloween party in such a way that he still can't quite figure out if he was played or not. But then again, Kevin is suspicious of pretty much everybody for one reason or another. He's at his best when he has somebody bossy to follow around, and being a prince, Hans was probably accustomed to having a devoted retinue. A bit of testing led him to discover that Hans would let him get away with making snide comments in his presence, but at the same time, Kevin was willing to step back to the prince's authority if he crossed any boundaries. They really had the perfect setup for some sort of snarky weird hero-sidekick kind of a thing, something Kevin would go along with it so long as Hans developed a habit of keeping candy in his pockets. Why the hell not?

So naturally, Hans went home.

The prince is now one of the people Kevin quietly waits for. He's not terribly broken up about his absence, but Hans did leave a legacy -- Kevin's pet red squirrel is named Squirrel Hans after him, specifically because Kevin wanted to see the look on Hans' face after he found out about it. Alas, it was not to be. But Kevin will wait patiently and jump on that chance if it ever produces itself, and maybe it'll even be better, if a lot of time has passed in between.

Master Roshi

{Dragonball}
turtlehermit | The Old Turtle Guy

Kevin has met this man exactly one time. During that time, Roshi invited himself to tea, lectured him about how he can't just hide away from this world forever and needed to shape up, spouted some useless drivel about not giving up and seeing it as a challenge when he freaks out and his emotions destroy things -- and informed him, very sternly, that no one deserves to be stuck in dark places within their own hearts, and if redemption is possible for demon kings and terrible assassins, it's possible for Kevin, too.

This last had such a profound effect on the swordsman that he slipped away when Roshi wasn't looking, needing the time to think on it. Twenty different people could have lined up to tell him he was still surely a good person because he does care about this or that and it wouldn't have meant a thing, because none of them would understand just how bad Kevin really is. But the old guy not only acknowledged that it was going to be a long and difficult road, he was able to provide examples of people he knew who'd done it, and they were clearly just as bad as Kevin himself. The swordsman still isn't completely sure redemption is possible for him, or that he doesn't deserve to feel the way he does. But Roshi has given him permission to try -- told him that the trying is worth it, that he can still put some good in the world instead of being satisfied with simply not hurting it -- and Kevin will be watching out for the man in the future. It's obvious that he knows things.

Kaihime

{Samurai Warriors}
bearestofthemall | Milady General

Kai was one of the most obnoxious people Kevin has ever met in his life. She was so noisy you could hear her coming from a mile away, once she decided to put her nose in your business you were never going to get it out, and she did things like jump on him from burning buildings, thus forcing him to break her fall with his ribcage. But, on the other hand -- she was never put off by Kevin's occasional fits of anxiety and temper, she was a strong enough fighter that Kevin was able to respect her, and most importantly, Kai still has the dubious honor of being the first person in Verens to make Kevin laugh.

Really laugh, mind. None of this "snickering nastily" business. A true and proper fit of mirth, his first in over a year.

Because of that, Kai became Kevin's honorary little sister in a way -- someone he couldn't always tolerate and enjoyed teasing mercilessly, but also someone he genuinely cared about, and he misses her deeply since she went home. She's another person that Kevin waits for, quietly. After all, she promised she'd make some mochi for him to try someday and never got to do it. Now, if he's ever going to try it, Kai has to be there. A promise is a promise.

Mephisto

{Demon City Shinjuku}
demonphysician | the Doctor

Mephisto was someone Kevin found a little off-putting, though he was never able to articulate quite why. Everything Mephisto ever did was good and helpful, really. He gave enough of a damn to take a look at little Squirrel Hans's leg when Kevin first found his little pet, and when the old woman who previously lived in Kevin's house passed away, Mephisto came immediately to help deal with the aftermath. For these reasons, Kevin considered the man his own personal doctor for a while, despite his misgivings. After all, it was good to have someone around who probably wasn't going to ask questions if Kevin popped up needing his services in the middle of the night, something he could never quite rule out.

Anyway, it doesn't matter now. Mephisto's been gone a long time. Kevin scarcely remembers him now.

Cormag

{Fire Emblem: Something Something}
wyvernlance | DRAGON!!!!

Cormag was just straight up cool. Cormag could use a spear. Cormag was big and strong. Cormag had a ~~dragon~~ wyvern for a mount, and Kevin was allowed to scritch Genarog's nose. Kevin was absolutely tickled by this, and for a while, life was a little brighter just because Kevin had a buddy who had a dragon.

That wasn't all there was to it, though. Cormag was a sturdy, steadfast sort of guy, someone Bulat appreciated and a valuable asset to the Enforcers. The other man was quietly thoughtful, visiting when Kevin was ill, giving him a hand up without judging him during one of Kevin's weaker moments, and coming out of an unexpected roll in the hay with Lacie none the worse for wear. He's also one of the people Kevin trusted with his past, though Cormag vanished shortly after. Kevin still thinks about Cormag often, and wonders how his life is going. It's possible that if they'd had the time, they would have been able to build an even stronger bond.

Spicy Milla

{Tales of Something or Other}
descendend | Milaaaaaaady~

The Grumpy Milla was one of Kevin's favorite people on the entire island. No matter what anybody ever said or did, Milla was probably going to bitch about it. Because of that, Kevin felt he could really let loose around her, and her reactions to his teasing were so good he couldn't help but get a little merciless. Milla gave as good as she got, though, and when they weren't bickering for the sheer joy of it, they really were terribly close. Their mutual intense dislike for talking about their feelings made them excellent sources of support for one another. When Milla was upset, Kevin would shit-talk people for her amusement, or take her out to beat things up. When Kevin was upset, Milla would come and visit and bring him tasty things to eat, and pull on his hair until he felt better. He would occasionally show up at her door with random gifts he'd found here and there, weird spices or cool kitchen gadgets, and got to learn all sorts of useful cooking things in exchange. They spent their second Selenium together holed up in Milla's kitchen, ignoring all the ghosts outside and having a grand time decorating cookies and refusing to talk about their losses.

She was dead, in her own world. She vanished from Empatheias shortly after admitting to Kevin that she never wanted to leave.

Kevin feels loss keenly, but this one was particularly devastating, and he's still nursing something of a grudge deep down that the world would take her, of all people. Worse, he'd prepared a gift for her, a bauble containing one of his hope lights, something that would have helped to keep her just a little warmer over the wintertime. He never got to give it to her. It remains in his room, waiting for her to come back for it, serving as a reminder that if he's going to love his people he needs to love them now, and never, ever wait for an excuse to help make their lives a little more wonderful. She'd probably laugh and grumble at him if she knew all the parties he throws and events he drags people too were partially in her memory, but he likes to think it would please her, deep down.

Padmé Amidala-Skywalker

{Star Wars}
angelofnaboo | Miss Padmé

What a nice lady.

Kevin enjoyed Padmé's presence and company for much the same reason he enjoyed Celestia's -- Padmé is kind and calm and polite, with an undercurrent of strength that can only come from ruling one's subjects with firm, insistent diplomacy. As a knight and a servant, Kevin reacts well to personalities like hers, and falling into a friendship with her was easy for him. He respected her because she avoided violence whenever possible, but never condemned it. He appreciated her because she was always willing to lend an ear when his mood is low. She was full of stories of far away places and people and things that Kevin hadn't ever dreamed of, having come from a world -- no, a galaxy where flying among the stars is a fact of the every day, and Kevin never quite got tired of listening to her talk.

Her family, though. Geez. On the one hand, it was nice that she had so many loved ones and friends around her, especially her husband. It must be terrible to be without the person you love enough to marry. On the other hand, in a lot of ways these people -- many of whom are still around -- seem dysfunctional at best, and Kevin always made it a point to keep his nose carefully out of their Kylo-flavored business. Because of all that, he sometimes wonders if it's okay at all for him to wish to see Padmé again, someday. He's learned all sorts of things since she left from others who live out in space, and oh, she and Allura would be wonderful for each other, he's sure. He's just not sure he would wish the drama on her all over again, especially if she returns without her memories.

Zelos Wilder

{Tales of Another Thing}
redsnow | ~*~MISTER WILDEEEEER~*~

Kevin never hated Zelos as much as he hates Vincent Nightray, but you really can't hate much of anybody as much as Kevin hates Vincent Nightray, so that's not really saying much.

Really, the relationship between these two was the result of a terrible first impression that exploded immediately and then kept exploding for a very long time. Many of the issues they wound up squabbling over were veiled by projections on both sides, and it's hard to learn to appreciate the other guy when your issues with your own self are getting in the way. Reim Lunettes was another factor -- withdrawing from Kevin in his grief over Kevin's dead future self and striking up a friendship with Zelos instead, Zelos often wound up upset and angry over a relationship he did not understand, and the addition of a third person's influence only made things much more difficult in all directions.

In the end, after months of butting heads, Zelos was been a major catalyst in getting Kevin to confront some of those issues at last, and in that way he was a positive influence. In turn, Zelos came to realize that Kevin might be able to help him sort himself out in ways that no one else could, and together they were able to figure out Zelos' dunamis -- by which we mean Kevin took him out and got him completely plastered and coaxed him into diving headfirst into the emotions he least wanted to face. He vanished shortly after, and while Kevin certainly doesn't want him back, Zelos left enough of an impression on him that Kevin still finds himself wondering how things would turn out for him, sometimes. It was weird, you know? How Kevin ultimately wound up feeling closer to this guy who got his goat so badly than he did to the man who's supposed to be his best friend someday.

Bobby Fulbright

{Ace Attorney}
brightestfool | Boss 1

...Bobby was...ehhh, how to put it...

...there was something really fucking weird going on with this guy.

Bobby and Kevin did not get off to the grandest start. They barely knew each other at all when the Otherworld Division of the Enforcers were formed, and the group was almost immediately thrown into Elios's attack. The two had very, very different ideas about how things needed to be handled, and Kevin completely ignored his orders in favor of going his own way the instant this became clear. Having decided that he couldn't trust Bobby, a non-combatant, to understand how Kevin worked and thus how to work with him, Kevin might well have quit the group early on if he hadn't been able to cling to Edea instead. After that, he made it a point to keep out of his other boss's way, figuring that if he was conveniently not around during times when Bobby might need to tell him things he didn't want to hear, they'd never have an issue again.

But you know, Bobby was really always a suspicious sort of guy. Surely there's no way somebody so openly dim could have the skills he has and maintain the career he claimed. Then there's the emotional effects that surrounded him -- grays and holes that Kevin initially mistook for depression. Bobby collapsed in front of him once when Kevin was playing with his hope lights, and Kevin later discovered that his lights had gained the ability to transfer his feelings. There was definitely more to Bobby than he ever wanted to let on, and though Kevin later put two and two together well enough to reach "apathy", he never did feel comfortable sticking his nose into this particular business. Well, he's gone now. Probably Kevin will never know.

Princess Celestia

{My Little Pony}
letteropener | Pony Mama

Kevin's friendship with Celestia was something unexpected. Which -- yes, alright, it's certainly reasonable to be shocked at finding oneself having friendly conversations over cake in the magic shop belonging to a talking alicorn princess. But there was more to it than that. Kevin's friendship with Celestia was unexpected, and it was also extremely singular, unlike any of his other relationships in Empatheias. It's one thing to have calm, supportive friends who reassure you as many times as they have to that they believe in the good in you. It's another thing entirely to have a friend so capable of making you feel like a little boy who wants to hide his face in his mother's skirts -- and then lets you do so. Given how old and tired Kevin has felt since his jaunt through the Abyss, the simple fact of Celestia's ability to give him such comfort made an enormous difference for him.

The relationship wasn't always as easy as all that, mind. Celestia took care to remind Kevin time and time again that he was becoming a different person entirely in Empatheias, and leaving his old, murderous self behind. Each time, Kevin rejected the notion utterly, feeling that denying that part of himself in such a way was shirking responsibility. All the same, Celestia was one of the people who was able to comfort Kevin the most when he needed her, and he was utterly devastated when she was sent back home. Months after the fact, her loss is still one of the ones he feels the most keenly, and in times of uncertainty, it's Celestia that he pines for despite the many friends he still has.

She told him, once, that even if she were to go home, a part of her would still be with him. It was cheesy, but Celestia was more than capable of saying such things in a way that made Kevin believe in them. As it happens, though, it really only makes it hurt worse.

James "Bucky" Barnes

{Marvel Whatnottery}
heismymission | Mister Barnes

The first time Kevin met the Winter Soldier, Bucky was stuck in the middle of a bunch of native Verens people who were looking for a fight, and Bucky effortlessly chucked one of them into a wall. Kevin broke the fight up and proceeded to show the other man around, helping him to find food and shelter, even showing Bucky some of his old rooftop haunts since Kevin himself no longer needed them.

He did it because the way Bucky carried himself at that time reminded Kevin of himself, back when he first arrived in Verens -- skittish, nervous, always looking over his own shoulder. It was Kevin's first time encountering such feelings outside of his own head, and the notion that he might understand gave him the urge to help.

After that, over time, Bucky ran the full gamut between "scary as shit" and "trusted ally". Bucky's skills and the way his mind was trained to function are both arguably horrifying, but Kevin looked at Bucky and in many ways still saw himself, anxious and uncertain and stuck in between lives, still finding his voice and learning what he wanted for his future now that the past has been so completely ruined. It's this that kept Kevin at Bucky's side at first, despite the occasional misgiving. Kevin never had nearly enough of a hero complex to want to be the one responsible for helping the other man, but -- he hoped very much that Bucky would be able to heal and to find some peace, because if he could, it means Kevin can, too.

He was rewarded for his persistence. First, the quiet, man-of-few-words Mister Barnes invited Kevin to stay for tea and company, and bothered to attend his birthday party despite his similar distaste for noise and crowds. Barnes requested then that Kevin call James. After that, they became able to tease and play with one another, and Kevin began to rely on Bucky for everything from lectures about how he's a dumbass to pledging his support when Vincent got mouthy. Is this how Sanae and the others felt when Kevin finally came in out of the cold...? Probably.

It's a damned shame that Bucky's gone now. He was easily one of the people Kevin trusted the most. Plus, there is no one else who calls him "Kev". At least, when Bucky went home, Steve went with him. Kevin takes some consolation in the fact that they never really had to be apart in Empatheias.

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Empatheias: Info!

Thu, 02 Jun 2016 05:07:14 GMT

Kevin Regnard

» » » justpastdawn

• • • • • • •

Player: Callie
Canon:Pandora Hearts
Canon Point:Post-Abyss, Pre-Rainsworth
Alignment:Peromei
Date of Entry:08/01/2014

» Logs • CR • IC Contact • Kevin's House • Original App «

Age: 27 as of late 2017
Birthday: September 30
Eye Color: Red
Hair Color: White with purple streaks
Height: 177.5cm/5'10"
Amulet: First amulet: A pocketwatch that featured the seal of an illegal contractor rather than a real clock face
Second amulet: a sword pendant
Third amulet: a star pendant
Fourth amulet: a glass marble, cracked on the inside
Fifth amulet: a lion locket, the lion matching the one on the hilt of his old sword, which he handed down to Keith
Appearance: I warned his CR many times that something like this would happen, but nooooooooo.

( in-depth bio )

Permissions: Permissions for actions done to this character.
Key: ☐ (neutral; contact first) | ☑ (yes) | ☒ (no).
» Backtagging: ☑☑☑☑☑☑
» Threadhopping: ☐
» Hugging: ☑ (I mean, feel free to try)
» Kissing: ☑ (If he doesn't want the attention he will make that very clear)
» Fighting: ☐
» Injuring: ☐
» Killing: ☒
» Fourth Wall: ☑
» Manipulation: ☐

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Empatheias: Emotional Effects and Dunamis

Thu, 02 Jun 2016 04:28:50 GMT

The Red Mage

This is Otherworld magic, an asterisk leant to him by Edea Lee and Ringabel. The way I play the concept out in game is by treating the asterisk as somewhat sentient -- it is the thing that "knows" the skills and abilities of a particular class, and by tapping into those powers, one can use those abilities. It's the same basic concept as the Chains in Kevin's own world. The Chain possesses the powers, but because of the bond between them, the Contractor is the one who is wielding and controlling those powers.

The subject of Kevin using an asterisk first came up because he arrived in Empatheias with no special powers and was nothing but an ordinary swordsman. In fact, he was the only fighter of the Otherworld Enforcers Division who didn't have some sort of magic or weird armor or weapon. He felt that this set him back, and wished to train in something special so that he could keep up with his peers. The asterisk was an ideal way to do this. He chose the Red Mage because he felt it was the asterisk that suited him best. Its fighting style relies heavily upon the sword and thus is already similar to his own; he wouldn't have to spend too much time learning a new weapon in order to advance with it. Also, its magic is a combination of White magic and Black, rather than focusing on one or the other. His spells will never grow as strong as they could if he were working with White Mage or Black Mage, but he has both healing and offensive spells at hand, and readily uses both.

Asterisks are picky things. You can "max out" the level of any asterisk, and learn all of its secrets. However, in order to become that asterisk's master, it has to suit you so well that you are basically the embodiment of everything it is. The Red Mage is equal parts nurturing and vicious, swift and cunning, and many of its most complex abilities require the user to be ruthless, willing to take enormous risks for the sake of a goal. After well over a year of hard work and training, Kevin became the new master of the Red Mage during a fight with a giant snake off on a recently discovered island. During this particular fight, Kevin found himself out of power to cast any spells, with both himself and Bulat about to be crushed to death. However, the Red Mage possesses a trump card wherein the wielder dropping below a certain number of hit points allows them to cast spells whether they are out of mana or not. So, Kevin stabbed himself in the leg, allowed himself to bleed out enough that he was able to use magic to kill the snake, and then healed himself in a hurry before he died himself. This proof of his willingness to use whatever risky maneuver he needed to regardless of the danger in it, and his getting away with it, was the point when the asterisk accepted him fully.

There were several side effects of this. One is that the aesthetic of the asterisk shifted from its original form to something more suited to the aesthetic Kevin has grown to appreciate while living in Verens. Another is that Kevin no longer needs to have the asterisk on him in order to use its abilities and can lend it out to those he trusts, with both able to use it at the same time. He also no longer needs to "equip" it -- to summon the coat out -- in order to use it, but Kevin makes a point to have it on if there is a chance he will need it. For one thing, it serves as a sort of uniform, and broadcasts the fact that he is "on duty", in business mode. For another, if everyone thinks he still needs to have it equipped in order to cast any spells, he can take people by surprise when this turns out to not be the case. To his relief, it has also meant that the asterisk stayed with him in Verens even after both Ringabel and Edea were sent home.

You see, the last aspect of mastering an asterisk is that the asterisk begins to learn from the master. The Red Mage as it stands now isn't truly the same one he was originally given. It's picking up on Kevin's abilities now, learning some of his favored sword tactics and storing them away as new attacks, altering its magic to suit him even better. The primary way this has manifested is in the way the spells are cast. The Red Mage no longer relies on mana to power its magic. Rather, having ridden around in Kevin's pocket while he was going around aggressively training in his dunamis, the spells are now powered by emotions. Try to cast fireball all you like; if you are in a cheerful mood, you'll get a smoky fizzle at best, but cast it in the midst of a proper furious temper tantrum and you'll engulf the whole room in flame.

Healing spells: Cure/Cura, powered by love. Originally, there was a minor healing spell and a major healing spell that needed to be cast over and over for larger wounds, but these days with enough love poured into it, just one spell can fix everything. There are limits to this magic. Stepped on glass? You have to get all the shards out of the wound manually, or the skin will heal over the glass and it will remain embedded inside of you. Broke a bone? You have to set it properly before you can heal it, or it will heal poorly and crooked and you may lose use of the limb. These spells are not Sailor Moon level miracles. Knowledge and use of first aid are still necessary in conjunction with them. Poisona is another healing spell, used specifically to remove poison -- love with some protective anger mixed in will trigger this one. Originally, this spell stopped the effects of the poison from happening, but did not heal the damage done. Under Kevin's mastery, however, the cure poison spell fixes things up a bit, too.

Defensive spells: Protect/Shell/Reflect, powered by...chivalry? These are shielding spells of various strength, from giving the target a bit of extra oomph all the way up to attacks bouncing right off of them. These are a spell that respond to one of Kevin's earliest emotional manifestations -- when he knows exactly what he's fighting for and his highest priority is to protect, his sword glows. For simplicity's sake we can call this bravery. It's those feelings that power the shields, which also cause shimmers of light to wrap around the recipient. The catch is that although others who use this ability might well be able to cast shielding spells on themselves, Kevin typically can't cast it for his own sake until he's pretty close to dead. His drive to protect others extends to himself only inasmuch as dying is incredibly inconvenient when you are trying to accomplish things, and he doesn't start caring until that becomes a legitimate risk.

Curse-breakers: Blinda/Raise/Dispel, spells intended to "remove status ailments". Which is to say, if somebody has a spell cast on them that causes fear or blindness or whatever else, these spells can remove that magic. These are powered by calm, so as you can imagine, Kevin uses them practically never. They aren't always very useful in Empatheias anyway. They break magical effects, not emotional effects. If an Arehtei is going crazy and has sent everyone into a tizzy of some sort, these spells won't fix that.

Petty spells: Silence/Sleep/Fear. One robs someone of their voice for a few minutes, one knocks them out, and one gives them nerves. These spells are powered specifically by irritation. Fuck off, holy shit.

Offensive spells: Fira/Blizzara/Thundara/Aerora. Elemental damage spells. Fire is powered by anger, and is extremely difficult to control. Water comes from disgust, and can take the form of ice when properly focused. Lightning requires a hateful focus on a very specific target, and wind damage comes from rejection, a strong sense of "NOPE" that pushes things away. Kevin's got a temper problem, this is the result.

Evil spells: Drain/Aspir. These are spells that Kevin does not talk about, has never used publicly, and will never mention at all unless he absolutely has to. Drain literally sucks the life out of people, and Aspir drains power levels to weaken magical ability. They are powered by what Kevin's older self refers to as a "keen intent to kill" in canon -- someone must be pushed to the point of murder before they will activate. Just as Kevin is cagey about letting anyone know that he has this capability, the asterisk will not grant these spells to other users until they have been working with it for a long time. They are higher level spells.

An Eye for an Eye: The hilariously named trump card that the asterisk still retains. In its original form, falling below a certain level of hit points gave the user a 900% chance to strike a critical hit in return. In practice, under Kevin's mastery, this ability is (predictably) fueled by pure, unadulterated spite -- and it's become a way for other wielders to use one of Kevin's most intense trademark swordmanship skills. It grants an intense, amplified concentration to all senses. He notes in canon that he "doesn't just rely upon visual information" and this is that sensation. Enemies coming up on him from behind get roundhouse kicks, because even with most of his attention on what's in front of him, he heard them coming. Blows are parried and returned with uncanny speed, because he not only sees them coming, he sees where they will end up before they get there and rises to meet them. Weaknesses are honed in upon immediately. This is the ability you want in a group fight, or any battle that needs to end quickly. It also won't turn up until a higher level.

Dunamis

Shadows: Kevin arrived in Empatheias fresh out of the Abyss. His eye was healed immediately upon arrival, so he never lost his mobility, and he was not taken into any house. Because of that, it was some time before Kevin eased his way completely out of the mindset of the Red-Eyed Ghost -- accustomed to moving in darkness, Kevin literally carried darkness with him. During his first months in Verens, his shadow was so deep that shadows belonging to other objects would unfasten from their proper places and add themselves to his. They would play around his ankles underneath the tattered hem of his cloak, and were known to visibly writhe if Kevin started to get upset.

Although his shadow has slowly returned to a normal state over time, it's still known to grow and deepen if Kevin gets into one of his (literally) darker moods. Thankfully, this is rare, and when it does happen it's rare that anything comes of it.

The Red-Eyed Ghost: During the event with Peromei, the Arehtei of hope and despair and the one that Kevin is aligned to, Kevin's shadow detached itself from him entirely, manifesting as a two-eyed double who was entirely grayed out but for his faintly glowing red eyes. This shadow was sentient and spent the event verbally abusing Kevin -- reminding him of his sins and repeating over and over that he's worth nothing, deserves punishment, can't have nice things and can't even dare ask for them and so on. The shadow essentially revealed Kevin's inner monologue to some of his closest people, and when all of them rejected that shadow, it retaliated by attempting to sabotage some of his relationships. It served as a manifestation of Kevin's self-loathing and self-destructive thought patterns, and though he was able to consign it back to his ankles at the end of the event, it remains, and there is always the threat that it will rear its head again if some event or other gives it the power to do so.

Grayed-out colors: This emotional effect is similar to one of the ones caused by apathy. When Kevin is struck by a wave of sadness, he literally sucks all of the color out of the immediate area. It is only a temporary desaturation and the colors will eventually seep back in, but there are times when his mood plummets so quickly that you can practically hear them being pulled out, and those closest to him know to watch for signs of desaturation and distract him accordingly before he can get into a funk.

This emotional effect is a direct reference to the flashback scene in Chapter 32. In this scene, Break is telling the others of his past, and we see Kevin wrapped in a black coat and crouched by a fence, weeping in the snow. In this part of his story, Kevin has just found out what happened to the Sinclairs after his wish was granted, and Break notes that as he realized the extent of his own folly, his "body was eroded by utter despair". Due to his proclivity for dressing in black, the only color in that scene would have been Kevin's one remaining red eye.

Muted sounds: Another seemingly apathetic reaction, but in this case, it happens when Kevin is brooding. He goes so deep into his own thoughts that he's absent, distant. Other sounds literally cannot reach him at this time. If he's surprised out of this mood, the resulting noise is like a popping bubble.

Breaking things: During Kevin's last horrifying moments in the Abyss, the world was literally crumbling around him. The floor disintegrated underneath him and sent him plummeting into cold darkness. Because he associates such things with incredible fear, when Kevin feels fear or anxiety, things around him will crack or shatter entirely. It turns into a nasty, vicious cycle -- Kevin is afraid of breaking things, and his fear threatens to cause things to break. It was for this reason that he refused to settle underneath anything with a roof during his first few months in Verens -- one of the first things he did was cause a shed he was napping in to fall in on him when he woke from a nightmare, and it was literally dangerous for him to be inside until his anxiety had ebbed. This is also the reason he gets most of his stuff from thrift stores, and has cabinets full of mismatched dishes and teacups. There's a high chance that he'll wind up destroying these things anyway, so he refuses to get invested in breakable things.

Hair static: Not all of Kevin's anxieties are legitimate ones. If he's nervous over something stupid -- think giddy schoolboy shit, like talking to a girl he likes -- his "petty fit of nerves" will cause his hair to fill with static and go floating about, shocking him or other people if it grows too intense. A hilarious side effect of this came about when Peromei decided to send her aligned an electric shock whenever they started despairing on her. By that point Kevin was so accustomed to being in a constant state of low-level depression that he had no idea why he kept receiving these shocks, and spent the whole time trying to figure out what was setting his nerves off.

Also, if you startle him in a stupid way, his ponytail will explode. Why? Because nothing in canon ever disturbs it and so blowing it up amuses me.

Fire: Kevin has a foul temper. When provoked enough, things around him will catch fire. He filled the grooves between the stones on a floor with embers once because he was furious that someone had managed to kidnap him, and has been known to set empty kettles whistling or heat rooms to a level of uncomfortable mugginess when peevish.

Glows: Meant to be a direct contrast to the shadows Kevin started out with, when Kevin is happy and secure, he glows. In the past, it was virtually impossible to get him to do this, but some of his friends have learned to provoke it, usually by doing something thoughtful and affectionate that he finds touching. It starts with light that sits on his skin, and it will spread to his surroundings if it takes hold strongly enough. If it lingers, it will curl up away from him in wisps, like steam from a cup of tea. When he's feeling warm and content, the glow is golden. If Kevin's happiness is more bittersweet, it goes silver instead.

Glowing sword: Kevin's sword occasionally glows, and this is a similar but different reaction to his happy glow. This one is also a direct result of a feeling of security -- when his sword glows, it's because Kevin knows exactly what he's fighting for. He has something that he loves and wants to protect, and has no doubts about devoting himself to the fight. That this feeling is notable enough for Kevin to warrant its own specific reaction is a reference to his comment during the fight with Fang in chapter 54: "Ah, yes. It's so nice...this keen intent to kill." That Break would express pleasure during such a deadly fight, instigated because Break was intent on destroying someone who had killed one of his loved ones, is something I have chosen to translate as Break finding comfort in having a strong sense of purpose. (See also: "To keep going...I need a reason for it.")

In the event of a fight similar to the fight with Fang, wherein Kevin's intentions shifted from a desire to protect to a desire to destroy, the sword's glow would change from white to red. During Sosyne's attack, his anger made the blade heat up a little, too, giving him an increase in power against her sea monsters. It was effectively a combination of his fire effects and his sword glow.

Stars: When Kevin was in the midst of his emotional breakdown after finding out what happened to the Sinclairs, his despair generated an entire ball of darkness that clung to him no matter what time of day it was; anyone walking into it would find that it made everything look like nighttime. As he began to work his way out of the despair, stars appeared in that ball of darkness -- symbols of his hopes peeking through the black. Kevin was aware enough of his feelings at the time that he understood why those stars were there and what they meant -- Sanae's rejection at the time made several of them go out, so it was difficult to miss -- and since then, stars have become important to him. He surrounds himself with tiny lights whenever possible, and often pauses when he's out at night to look at the real stars.

This is another reference to canon. In chapter 88, Break approvingly notes the lighter, stronger atmosphere surrounding the kids, despite the hardships that they've come through to get to that point. At this point in the story, Break is no longer feeling as though he has to worry about them so much, and he notes that although he is blind, "Even if my eyes see nothing but darkness -- the light reaches me, even if my eyes cannot see it -- there is light, a dazzling light illuminating the darkness...behind my eyelids." It is also a reference to the Abyss itself, a place dancing with golden lights, the way it ought to be when it has been restored to its proper state.

Sparkles: Deep happiness gets a glow, but short bursts of it result in sparkles. This is convenient, because some of his closest companions do it, too, so it's comfortable for him to understand why it's happening. Generally, his sparkles are purple.

Candy: Kevin has an obvious and acknowledged comfort eating habit. As the Sinclair knight, he ate what was given to him and didn't really indulge his sweet tooth. His new life in Empatheias allows him to eat whatever he likes even if what he likes is milkshakes for breakfast and cake at midnight. Because of this, he associates having so much sugar with a lack of rules and with soothing his nerves and making himself feel better overall -- which is probably why, if you amuse him enough, his laughter causes candy to pop out of thin air. The flavor is entirely circumstantial.

This reaction makes for excellent positive reinforcement.

Dunamis: Kevin's major triumph during Thras's challenge was causing his sword to glow on purpose so that he could cause an invisible enemy to cast a shadow, thus saving Bulat's life. Although he had no idea what exactly caused it to happen, he was aware that what happened was all him, and not a result of his extra event powers at the time.

To that end, since that time, Kevin has been concentrating on his light effects. Most of his triumphs with it have been entirely by accident. After some months of struggling, finding that simply thinking happy thoughts was not going to cut it, he inadvertently created a swarm of hope lights, resembling fireflies or stars, by opening himself up to hope on Peromei's behalf. The effect is similar to the Dancing Lights spell he used as a bard in Thras's challenge. He hesitated to pursue these lights for quite some time, seeing himself as someone who shouldn't be permitted to have wishes. However, seeing the poor shape continuing onslaughts of despair had left Peromei in made him realize that his duty as one of her aligned is to protect her by providing as much hope as he can. If he's going to make any real difference for her he's going to have to allow himself to wish. Since that time, he's learned to cause whatever number of lights he wants, and to make them dance about and float where he directs them with barely a thought. This wasn't a particularly satisfying magic, given that all the lights did was be lights, and his focus is traditionally on offensive and defensive skills rather than simple practicality. To that end, he attempted to get his little stars to buzz hard enough to generate heat so he could use them as weapons. He failed, partially because he hesitates to deliberately harness his negativity for fear of upsetting the balance of other Arehtei, and it hasn't occurred to him yet that certain positive emotions may do the trick.

However, he never did stop idly playing with them, and after Sanae left -- resulting in his hope stars turning silver instead of gold, one night -- he discovered that by deliberately focusing other emotions into his lights, he can change their colors. A side effect of this is that his lights can then transfer his feelings to others, much the same way Hibiki's tea transfers feelings of comfort and love, and Edea and Sanae once accidentally injected chocolates full of love that sent everyone out on love benders when consumed. This is a power he is rarely going to use and won't even widely broadcast that he has, because the implications horrify him a little, and he's all too aware of the ethical ramifications of inflicting feelings on others. His only deliberate attempt with it thus far was giving good feelings to Ringabel in order to ease a headache, and even those overwhelmed his friend too much for Kevin's comfort. If it comes up, it will be as a last resort.

That said, in those intervening months, Kevin has figured out why his sword glows and how to make it do so deliberately. His next step will be to put emotional effects into the light of the sword, in an attempt to increase its power. Like so many other things, this is a reflection of canon. When wielding the Mad Hatter becomes too much for Break's health, he begins focusing the Hatter's power in his sword instead, and uses the weapon for precise attacks rather than allowing the Chain to manifest fully.

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Empatheias: IC Inbox

Thu, 02 Jun 2016 03:17:18 GMT

Want to send Kevin a messenger bird which may or may not get lost and never, ever bring you a response? Want to bother him over the amulet? Are you one of the privileged few who gets to waltz right into his house and bother him in person?

This post is for you.

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Empatheias: Development Notes

Thu, 02 Jun 2016 03:06:53 GMT

If you are familiar with Pandora Hearts at all, you know that when he grows up, Kevin is going to be Xerxes Break. However, the canonpoint I took him from is the moment just after the floor of the Abyss broke underneath him and sent him hurtling through the depths of it -- but before landing in Rainsworth. Kevin went straight from the Abyss to Empatheias, and has not met the Rainsworths yet at all.

Because of that, as he grows, there are some significant differences between the character he is becoming and Xerxes Break as he appears in canon. Here are those differences, and what has caused them.

Xerxes Break landed in Rainsworth and was immediately adopted into the house. His primary companions for those first several years were Sharon, Reim, and the Lady Shelly, overseen by the Duchess Sheryl. His movements were largely confined to the household, and Rainsworth is where his loyalty and devotion lie.
Kevin landed in Empatheias, and there was no one there to meet him. A witch, Wadanohara, healed his eye for him, but he had no need to remain at her side and had full run of the entire city. Able to come and go as he pleased, he established the entirety of Verens as his new territory, and did not answer to anyone. Break had a house and a new family from the start. Kevin was homeless in every sense of the word.

Xerxes Break lived with the pain of his healing eye socket for many months -- his hair was cut before the bandages came off -- and worsened it by occasionally scratching at the wound.
Kevin was healed immediately upon arrival. He kept the bandages on only long enough to let his hair grow out to cover the socket. Because the incredible pain of the injury vanished so quickly and did not hinder his movements, in many ways, what happened in the Abyss seemed like a dream. Furthermore, the lack of constant chronic pain did a great deal to improve his mood early on.

Xerxes Break found out very quickly that he'd been sent forward in time, and thus, what happened to the Sinclairs after his wish was granted. That final blow was delivered shortly after his time in the Abyss, meaning that this chapter of his life was closed and set aside very quickly.
Kevin was alone in Empatheias for a solid six months, unable to find any trace of the Abyss in the world's information, before Oz Vessalius showed up from his future and told him the story as Xerxes Break had told it to him. He had had that time to recover from the Abyss, and to get some of his emotional healing out of the way before he found out the rest. Most importantly, while Break was quickly "eaten away by despair", Kevin spent those six months hoping, which had a major effect on how he took the news.

Xerxes Break quickly devoted his life to granting the Will's wish, telling Shelly that if he were to go on, he was going to need a reason for it.
Kevin was unable to access the Abyss or anything having to do with it, and was forced to find other reasons to keep on living. At first, that reason was the need to find out what happened to the Sinclairs, but he found other motivations during those six months that would ultimately ease him through.

Xerxes Break was with Rainsworth for fifteen years before Oz crashed into his life, burst it open, and sent him hurtling forward towards the realization that he loved his life and did not want to lose it.
Kevin only waited six months before Oz crashed into his life, burst it open, and allowed him to move forward by giving him the closure he needed in order to begin setting the Sinclairs aside and focusing on the life he was living in the present.

Xerxes Break had Rainsworths (and Reim). That's pretty much it. His other major friendships through those fifteen years -- Oscar Vessalius and Gilbert Nightray, really -- were brought about mostly because of political reasons. It wasn't until Oz arrived that Break's social life actually started opening up.
Kevin has had a set of wide and varied friendships right from the start, none of which have anything to do with houses or politics.

Xerxes Break is often unapproachable in the early days, startled by swift movements and loud noises, and prone to lashing out against people who come close to him too quickly.
Kevin had these problems also, but he also had the amulet, through which he could speak to people telepathically -- which allowed him to reach out to other people much sooner, on his own terms and from the safety of his personal hidey-holes. Because of this Kevin was much better socialized at a much earlier age than Break was, and more willing to reach out to new people.

Xerxes Break lived for fifteen years with his secret identity marked on his chest; his real name alone would be enough to have him executed if he were found out.
Kevin had the freedom, for the most part, of walking exclusively among people who would have no idea what the seal was even if they did see it, and who did not know his name. This was not always true, but it was normal enough to lessen his urge to keep everything about his history completely secret -- and, by the time Vincent Nightray showed up and threatened to expose him, Kevin was comfortable enough with his closest friends to beat him to the punch, at least among those people.

Xerxes Break refused to fight alongside anyone most of the time, on account of being Mister One-Man-Show -- Pandora's strongest fighter, wielding a Chain that could wipe out the weapons of most of his allies, and not trained to fight with other people at his side. Accidentally slaughtering his own companions in battle was a legitimate concern of his, and apparently, one he could not be bothered to fix over the course of those fifteen years.
Kevin is not the strongest fighter he knows. Not by a long shot. Being around people just as good if not better than he is, many of whom are difficult to kill or possess powers Kevin's world does not have or both, has made him more willing to fight with others at this side, though he still prefers to take the lead and keep a solid distance between himself and his allies.

Xerxes Break was, likewise, often shunned at work -- his coworkers all hated him, on account of his attitude was shit.
Kevin is aware of this and maintains that when he gets home and joins Pandora, deliberately alienating everyone there is the first thing he's going to do. As Break himself notes, working towards destroying the Will of the Abyss goes against everything Pandora wants, so he can't be open about his mission and what he's doing. Why wouldn't he give everyone a reason to avoid him when possible and leave him to his own devices? Between his work and his true identity, no way in hell should anyone in Pandora be looking at him too closely. That's just common sense!

Xerxes Break had one of the nastiest Chains to ever exist. He could do everything from seeing through Dodo's illusions to sensing the presence of other Chains.
Kevin is an ordinary man with a sword, in a world full of magic people with hyperactive powers. He does later pursue additional powers through dunamis and shared skills from his coworkers in order to keep up, but his awareness of himself as "ordinary", especially in comparison to his peers, has very much influenced his decisions in that regard.

Xerxes Break did not trust very many people, and did his best to tackle everything all on his own, often in secret. It was not until Gilbert lectured him at Yura's party that he became willing to try turning to anyone outside of Rainsworth for any kind of help.
Kevin did not have Rainsworth to satisfy his urge to belong somewhere, and wound up with the Enforcers instead. At a very tender time in his development when the solidity of the group was at stake, he watched three separate teammates fall to miserable fates because they tried to take on too much alone, and he witnessed firsthand the distress it caused amidst the rest of the group. Seeing this made him reluctant to dive into things on his own, especially knowing he is outclassed by most everyone else, on account of the magic. Although his first impulse is to handle things himself and that will always be true, he is now willing to ask for help, and bring his most trusted companions for backup if he needs to get up to anything sketchy.

Xerxes Break was thirty-nine years old, fancied himself Sharon's surrogate father, remembers Gilbert as the sad little kid he gave a piggy-back ride to, and was surrounded by people anywhere from thirteen to twenty-four years younger than he was. His paternal streak was suppressed, but strong.
Kevin is still in his mid-twenties and is prone to big-brothering people. Especially, you know, his boss. However, he's not quite old enough yet to think of any of these kids as "his", and for the most part, even the ones who are younger than he is have enough world experience that they are set apart from other teenagers. The closest thing he has to his paternal relationships at home is his relationship with Hibiki, who is around the same age that Sharon was when Kevin fell out of the Abyss. Even then, he's too much of a derp to realize exactly what's happening there.

Xerxes Break spoke candidly of how the world requires you to be cruel and ruthless if you're going to get what you want, because you cannot get back what you have lost. He consistently proved himself to be a complete sap deep down -- destroying Cheshire's bell to save Sharon without a second thought and setting his own goals way back, for instance -- but cruelty was necessary for his survival and the survival of those around him. Gilbert and the others could not be coddled if they were going to accomplish their goals. He himself was running on borrowed time and could not risk falling, or allowing his secrets to be exposed. He lived this way for fifteen years.
Kevin has a much less stressful situation in Empatheias. His life is open, his friends many, he is in no danger of losing his life or failing his quest, and he doesn't spend half his time trying to manipulate his pawns such that they'll be ready to go ten years down the road. As such, Kevin remains softer than Break, and the more support he receives, the more capable he is of finding his strength in kindness.

Xerxes Break had very limited resources as far as mental health went. His primary sources of support were a duchess who required a useful tool, and a beloved lady who passed away five years in. His other companions were a brat who was prone to screaming and nagging at every opportunity and a little girl who took one look at him and decided to marry him when she grew up. Shelly left her mark and inspired him to keep going, enough so that he was speaking to her in his head as he died. But other than that, provided he was able to function and make himself useful, Break was left to his own eccentric devices. No one ever tried to get into his deeper issues.
Kevin was immediately confronted by a wide variety of people telling him he deserved a chance at being happy just like everyone else, that his depression and anxiety were unhealthy, that he shouldn't be so terrible to himself and shouldn't deny himself nice things, and that he was still capable of being a good man. Even after he shared his past with these people and explained why he loathes himself so terribly, none of them withdrew their support -- if anything, in some ways, they began to push harder. Right from the start and at a very crucial time, Kevin was told over and over that he was worth something and could make a positive difference in the world, and has been aggressively shoved towards stability.

Xerxes Break was the Mad Hatter. His physical appearance is stated to be in his mid-twenties, so he wasn't out of the Abyss for long before he gained his second Chain. Though he remained the White Knight deep down, his sense of himself became twisted and corrupt, and he embraced that fact as he went forward.
Kevin had no idea the Mad Hatter existed for an entire year, and when he saw how perfectly it suited him, he cracked up laughing over what a farce it all was. He has not been pushed into a position that focuses on his ability to destroy. Instead, during his time in Empatheias, he has been pushed to heal, and to claw his way back into the light. His sense of himself is also twisted and corrupt, but he has never completely let go of the ideal of the White Knight -- and the more he learns about the life and situation of Xerxes Break, the more Kevin turns his back on the idea of him. His focus is not on destroying his enemies and the Will. His focus is on protecting his loved ones, and it's a goal he can strive for openly.

Xerxes Break, as far as we can tell, developed his fashion sense by living in a house full of fine ladies. Probably he gained most of his accessories by rifling through the Rainsworth's closets and stealing their shit for himself.
Kevin, meanwhile, was immediately exposed to steampunk, JRPG protagonists, and yes, he has met people from Yu-Gi-Oh. The end result is this journal and I am very sorry.

IN SUMMARY:

There are also many similarities between Break and Kevin. They are still essentially the same man. Kevin is just as hardheaded as Break was, just as inclined to keep his secrets to himself, just as prone to "fits of nerves over the pettiest things" and just as determined to see himself as a stupid, weak piece of shit with a debt to life that can never be paid back. He will never make any kind of peace with what he did, and believes whole-heartedly that he deserves to be punished for it. Most of his issues can and will be traced back to the fact that he does not deserve happiness. That is the reality, no matter what anyone says. Both are also preoccupied with the notion that "you can't ever get back what you have lost", and both are inclined to move forward, rather than lingering in the past -- "there is no future for you there".

However, unlike Break, Kevin has retained the bulk of his independence instead of signing his life over to a duchess and a quest, and his many friends are determined to push him towards stability for its own sake. He doesn't need to be the Mad Hatter, focused on sorting out the issue of the Will of the Abyss and staying alive for that alone. Instead, he has the faith of many people who believe that there is still good in him, and that he can turn his skills towards helping the world as a whole. He is already learning lessons now that nobody bothered to beat into Break until the very end, and it's causing him to unfold at a much more rapid rate.

Between his self-loathing and his focus on the Will, Break was unable to admit that he loved his new life and wanted to keep it until it was too late. This was, perhaps, his greatest tragedy. Kevin, as an Empatheias AU, was already realizing just what Empatheias had given him and how important it was fourteen years earlier than Break's revelation.

The end result is that Kevin is becoming what Xerxes Break might have been capable of being, had the stresses of life not forced him to close himself off as best he could -- Kevin is more open, his loyalty is spread to the entire world, and he's been encouraged to pass his days in hope and love rather than harshness and secret plans. He will be a much stronger character for it in the end, with his White Knight side taking dominance over the Mad Hatter.

ANOTHER VERY IMPORTANT MATTER OF NOTE:

Kevin hates Xerxes Break.

It started with Oz. Oz treated him as an old friend the second he realized who Kevin was, and Kevin is forever grateful -- deep down -- that Oz stood by him when he needed that support. However, though he knows that Oz has only ever wanted the best for him and meant to do well by him, the gesture has grown more and more cheapened over time as Kevin realizes that Oz was really sticking up for a person that Kevin is never going to be. Not while he's in Empatheias.

From Gilbert, Kevin received much the same treatment. Gil often looked at Kevin as though he'd seen a ghost, and called him by the wrong name by accident. Both of them kept secrets from Kevin, wanting to spare him the nastier parts of Break's life, and because of that it was months before Kevin found out about his own death, or the Mad Hatter, or the fact that the Mad Hatter was going to slowly kill him. When Lily Baskerville showed up, she recognized him as Break and set the Bandersnatch on him immediately. Likewise, Vincent Nightray first made contact with him by kidnapping a girl from the slums in order to lure him out and then blackmailing him, even going so far as to lecture him about how the two of them were the sort of people who would always walk in the shadows. To Kevin, these were essentially attacks from complete strangers, treating him as a man he'll never be and reacting to things that he himself has never done.

All of this and more has caused him to resent the existence of Xerxes Break, because people keep showing up and slapping a life he hasn't lived onto him and making assumptions about everything he is. Kevin himself makes it worse as his latent Break-like habits come to the forefront of his personality, quirks he doesn't even realize as matching those of his future self, and so he doesn't understand why exactly so many of his actions and gestures remind these people of Break in the first place.

As an end result, one year and ten months after his arrival in Empatheias, Kevin changed his hair and his mode of dress in an effort to differentiate himself from Break in a visual sense, since keeping the ponytail wasn't helping on its own. He's also terrified of the idea of going home, because given the point that he came from, the second he does, the man he is now is going to die. If you ask him, he'll tell you that the "Kevin" he is in this moment belongs only to Empatheias. This world has made him who he is, and though he hasn't quite admitted to himself that he wants to live, he already knows that he wants to remain in Empatheias for as long as possible. Kevin is painfully aware that he's only going to have one chance to live this life.

Sooner or later, he'll have to go home, and then he'll become Xerxes Break.

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Wed, 01 Jun 2016 04:10:23 GMT

Just what it says on the label. If you do not wish to receive tags from Kevin or there is any subject matter you do not want me to bring up in our threads, please let me know here, no questions asked. Comments are screened.

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How's My Driving?

Wed, 01 Jun 2016 04:07:26 GMT

Have questions, comments, or critique? Ping me here! Comments are screened.

Please be aware, however, that this specific journal is used exclusively in empatheias, where Kevin has been for two years as of August 2016. Because he was taken from a crucial canon point -- just after falling out of the Abyss, but just before falling into Rainsworth -- the person he is becoming does vary from the traditional Xerxes Break we are all accustomed to.

You can see my notes in regards to his differing development here. If you have a question I have not already addressed or you feel I am straying too wildly from canon, however, please do let me know. My goal with Kevin is not to turn him into a completely different person. In the end, he should simply be a slightly different flavor of Break.

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Navigation

Wed, 01 Jun 2016 03:49:18 GMT

This journal is a roleplay account for Kevin Regnard of Pandora Hearts, dedicated to use in empatheias. Previously, the journal I used in this game was unghosting. However, after nearly two years of development, Kevin pitched a tantrum and gave himself a makeover. This monstrosity is the result.

Look. At least it isn't a cropped bolero over suspenders with a billowy hip sash. That's canon.

How's my driving?
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Empatheias Info
Log List
IC Inbox
Living Arrangements
CR Chart
Kevin vs. Xerxes: Development Notes
Emotional Effects and Dunamis
The Red Mage

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